Happy Friday from WomensLaw.org!

Happy Friday from WomensLaw.org!

Shannon Lambert for L'Oreal's WOMEN of WORTH

As a 15-year-old victim of acquaintance rape, Shannon Lambert felt isolated and scared. After four years of keeping her attack a secret, Shannon finally reached out online to seek help and eventually created a Web site telling her story. Shannon was asked to appear on 20/20 to share her story of healing and, in anticipation of abuse survivors seeing the show and needing support, Shannon started a small message board. This board eventually became Pandora’s Project, an online resource that connects survivors with others facing similar issues across the globe.

One of the best aspects of Pandora’s Project is that it is wide-reaching, providing support for the estimated one in six people who will experience rape or sexual abuse in their lifetime. The survivor-to-survivor support offered within the message board is vital, especially for people who live in rural areas and may not have access to conventional support groups. Pandora’s Project often serves as the first place for survivors to shed shame and truly talk about their experience, leading them to real help in their lives.

Pandora’s Project, funded entirely by donations, facilitates a chat room for its members, hosting guest speakers who share information and answer questions in their field of expertise. Survivors also have access to the lending library, a program that provides free books and DVDs via mail about healing from rape and sexual abuse to any survivor living in the United States. New in 2009, Pandora’s Project will host its first sexual violence recovery retreat to offer support and workshops on topics including stress relief and building intimacy in relationships. With Shannon’s successful fundraising, Pandora’s Project has been able to offer financial assistance to more than half of the attendees at this year’s retreat.

What started as a simple message board has transformed into Pandora’s Project, the largest international online sexual abuse survivor community, serving more than 20,000 survivors worldwide. That’s why Shannon is a 2009 Woman of Worth.

Please vote for Shannon on the right side of this page: http://www.womenofworth.com/Honorees/Honoree2009Detail.aspx?nomid=5657c940-425b-47a2-879d-ed3c2d82b56f

Shannon Lambert for L'Oreal's WOMEN of WORTH

Know Your Rights Thursday

"I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give. I'll survive. I will survive." - Gloria Gaynor

A beacon of hope, strength and empowerment for all women around the world - - watch the music video of I Will Survive. You have the right to live, love and survive!

Know Your Rights Thursday

Interview with our Program Director

Denisse Wolfenzon, Program Director, has been a pivotal part of the WomensLaw.org team since 2006. We asked her a few questions about womens rights.

Q) What do you think is the most important thing we can do to end violence against women?

A) Violence against women groups and organizations should work together so that they do not duplicate efforts and achieve more concrete goals and we should continue to advocate for a more effective and responsive legal system for victims of violence. Most importantly however, we should involve men and boys in these efforts.

Q) What can someone do if they are trying to leave their abusive relationship?

A) It is important for victims to make his/her own decision about leaving the abusive relationship. They know better when anyone about when it is right to leave. Advocates should consider every person's situation individually and create a safety planning that is right for them. Safety planning is to think of practical ideas/tips to try to stay safe while still in an abusive relationship, when they are about to leave or after they left the relationship. Talk to a social worker or an advocate about their options.

Q) What can friends and family do to help someone in an abusive relationship?

A) If family and friends want to help someone in an abusive relationship, they can start by listening. Showing their unconditional support and letting them know that they are available whenever they need to be. Never judge someone who is in an abusive relationship if she/he is not yet ready to leave it. Leaving an abusive relationship takes courage, support, resources and time.

Q) How did you get involved in helping victims of domestic violence?

A) My interest started when I was an intern at Madre, an international women’s human rights organization in NYC. I assisted in a research project about Violence against Indigenous Women. Then, I realized the tremendous impact of the legal system in issues of domestic violence and the urgent necessity to provide and disseminate accurate legal information to ensure victim’s safety. WomensLaw.org is a comprehensive website that contains crucial information about domestic violence and sexual assault, and, I believe, a crucial resource for helping women and men who are in abusive situations.

Interview with our Program Director

Know Your Rights Thursday!

"If you are afraid that the other parent will take your children away without your consent, you can ask the judge to issue an emergency custody order, which most states provide."

You can ask the judge to include in the order that the other parent cannot take the children out of the state, or that the other parent may only have supervised visitation. Custody and Parental Kidnapping issues can be very complicated so it is always a good idea to talk to a lawyer in your state. Find a lawyer in your state or read more about Custody and Parental Kidnapping on WomensLaw.org.

Know Your Rights Thursday!

How Paternity Can Effect Custody

WomensLaw.org receives hundreds of emails to the Email Hotline every year asking about what a father's custody rights are if the mother and father are not married.

Whether the father has custody rights already or whether he would have to go to court to file for custody rights depends on whether his paternity has been established. Establishing paternity is when a biological father does something to legally declare himself the father. A mother's custody rights are automatically established at birth but a father has to do something to declare his custody rights if you are not married. Was the father there at the hospital during delivery? Did he ever sign the birth certificate or any other papers at the hospital? Is he paying child support through the state? If so, you may have already acknowledged that he is the father. If not, he may have to go to court to file a petition to establish his paternity. The specific laws for this are different in each state which is why is can be extremely helpful to talk to a lawyer who specializes in custody to find out if his paternity has been established and, if so, what your rights are under your state's law. You can find lawyers in your state on Finding a Lawyer pages of WomensLaw.org.

Even if his paternity was established, if you disagree with giving him the visitation he wants, you may want to make him file for visitation in court. However, sometimes this could backfire because he may end up with more visitation than you want him to have (or even shared custody). Therefore, it is sometimes better to try to work something out regarding visitation rather than leaving it up to a judge. Talking to a lawyer about what type of visitation you want him to have and what he may realistically end up with if you leave it up to a judge may help you decide whether you want to go forward with a court case or whether you want to work out something informal with him.

Once his paternity is established, it may allow him to have visitation or custody rights to the child but it could also allow you to go to court to get child support from him.

If you need more information about your specific situation please write to the Email Hotline.

How Paternity Can Effect Custody

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